|
| well tonight i went to my first club. i smoked too. ugh. but it was cold and was the only thing that would keep me warm. kayli came too so i think i am corrupting her too. i wanna take her down to san antonio for another krunk weekend of boozin down there. but anyway we went to the club and all our guy friends got girls to dance with and all of them made out with those girls. some random guy started dancing behind me. this was pretty weird bc 1) i've never been approached by a guy to dance in my life 2) kayli didn't have any one to dance with and 3) i am single now and its just weird to think of pickin guys up in the club. i dunno. its been a difficult week and i think it will be an even harder weekend. i am debating coming home at all. i lost a friend, had a crisis with a guy, and failed yet another class. things aren't going so well but hell who cares who even reads this. btw my sister that is pregnant again found out the sex of the baby... its a girl!!!! so yay. any way i guess i'll get back to eating stuffed bagle bites and staying up do to insomnia. | | |
| hey you guys sorry it's been so long since i wrote last so let me catch things up... actually right now i am doing ok. i had an awful night but that was my own damn fault so don't worry about it. actually i did have fun over break hanging out with all of my hs buddies. altho i do miss jeff. and i haven't seen jd in a while. but seriously i love my girls and jesse and michael and every one. oh umm let's see me and spenser anderson are on great terms actually. we hung out over break and are finally in good standing. we are good friends and can totally talk to each other. i think i have just been upsetting him bc i was going thru a lame emotional time and wouldn't open up to him or any other friend really. but oh well. what else hmmm... ahh i have been feeling a lil distant from the girls i graduated with. i dunno like i have a feeling they are upset with me again and i really don't know what to do. i just wish every thing would stop being gay and that times would be like they used to. in simpler days like last summer. we don't always get what we want. so i'll deal as always. well i will write again soon i hope. | | |
| well yay it snowed.... sorta, it was more of just frozen rain. so our school was shut down. that's about the only thing good going on in my life right now. for those of you who haven't heard i am going thru a lot of crap lately and it hurts. but i don't want yall to worry about me b/c things will get better. there is always hope. i dunno i guess it is a lot of things but i would really like not to talk about. i will have a nice cry and be over it for another day or two. i dunno maybe i am just being emotional b/c i am about to start the rag, but i don't think that's it. after all my "bad times" has been going on for a month and a half now. so whatever. on a happier note i am really happy that the semester is ending next week. at least that means i get to relax at my house and see old friends. of course that means i have to deal w/ another holiday disaster. i have a feeling this will be worse than thanksgiving. if i haven't told you i get to go to ohio and have xmas w/ my sister and her family up north. i have to wake up at 4am and get on a plane at 6:50am in order to get there. not to mention i have to celebrate xmas 2 days earlier than it is. and it's a holiday w/out my dad. god i hope better things will come w/the new year. i guess right now i just need to talk w/ some one that doesn't know me or my friends and for me to just let go.... tell that kind stranger all the crap going on. just 5min of pure emotional outburst sounds so good. but alas i will keep things hidden as always. i have never let any one fully into my problems why should i now. i am sorry to sound bitter you guys. and please don't worry about me. please. i promise in a few days i will write again saying how happy i am. and this is how the cycle goes. oh well. any way this weekend is spenser's frat's formal so i will get to dress up that night and have fun. and the good news about this weekend is that i am coming home and making puppy chow. this might sound strange but puppy chow is actually chex covered in peanut butter and chocolate and powdered sugar. it's yummy. well i need to sleep i guess i will talk to yall soon. | | |
| omg! most definately stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise. i am so happy. i even excercised all night too. so i wasn't just sitting in front of the comp eating sprinkles by them selves and getting fat. it was a nice change of pace. at least i will finally get my schedule back to normal. but yes i had a lot of fun. and the sad thing is two of my friends were awake and i aimed them all night it was so nice. i am so wired. although i was depressed and still am it is at the back of my mind now instead of reaking havack on my brain. i cannot wait till break i want it to be here. i talked w/ a very old friend tonight at like 12-2 am. it was fun i hadn't talked w/ him in a while. and by the way lately a lot of people have been saying i should become a sex therapist instead of a wedding planner... ( you know 1st i plan their wedding then i plan the wedding night)... any way i would just like to know which you think you see me as doing so please tell me if you read this and then decide. i better get an answer. i love you guys have a wonderful day!!!! | | |
| things have been going ok but i must say i have papers i have to write and i dunno what to write about on either of them so i am screwed. i really am feeling like my grades are getting fucked over. i have been stressed about alot of things lately so i accidently made myself sick. word to the wize don't worry yourself sick it's not fun. i am going to go camp and get drunk w/ spenser this weekend so woohoo. and i did yoga today to try and get rid of my stress. now i have a soar neck and i am just having an odd week. but oh well. i am still not sleeping enough and i am just being odd. i really am in a limbo right now just in general. i talked w/ paden about things so that's good i got things off my chest but am still feeling limbo. i want it to fucking be summer break already. at least then things will be better. well i will be up there for the xmas concert. and my friend kyle that came to the spring concert will be there. and maybe this time people won't think i am dating him. he is actually not doing too well right now b/c him and his girl friend broke up the day he got back from thanksgiving break. but i think he is doing ok he wants to make out w/ this japanese girl. any way i must go but i love you guys and don't be worried about me. | | |
|
